It feels good to get out...

As many of you know, I love photography. I used to even have a photography business a few years back and I loved it! Now my main subjects have become my kiddos, and I'm looking to change that up a bit! My Aunt Sandi gave me the bug recently when she passed along my grandmother's camera to me...how cool is that?

You can no longer get film for it unless you roll it yourself, but it certainly is fun bit of history for me to have. I wonder if my grandkids will one day look at Nikon D5000 and think it is archaic too?

So Sunday my sis-in-law Amy and I headed to the Chicago Cultural Center to check out an exhibit I was interested in. A "street photographer" has recently been discovered and her work is amazing! Her name is Vivian Maier. She is a true talent. The sad part is her film/negatives were discovered after her death - so she never knew about all the recognition she is getting. The picture below is my absolute favorite!

(photo courtesy of Google images)

The contrast of old school film and graininess of it is amazing in her prints.

It was a truly inspiring display. If you have a chance to check it out I highly recommend it!

If you've never been the the Cultural Center I recommend going as well - the detail and architecture is just wonderful. I had a lot of fun snapping the pics below...

Birthday Party for Mrs. M...

Aidan is in three-year old preschool this year so I of course volunteered to be the Room Mom! We had a birthday party for his teacher, Mrs. Markworth, on Thursday. The kids all helped me create this picture frame for her. They each had to tell me what they loved about her...cute little Charlie gets the prize for the most unique answer..."because she thinks I'm a human!"

Curls!

I've recently been looking back at pictures of Aidan to see how much Lucas looks like him and it really is incredible. In this picture Aidan is much older than Lucas is now, but it makes me wonder if Lucas will get those amazing curls that Aidan had...I wish he still had them! His hair was so blonde and curly! Love this little man!

Craps...I mean crafts....

So Aidan and I have been looking for projects to do this winter to keep us busy when we can't get outside. He loves to do creative things - we read, sing, cook and do "craps." He has a hard time saying "craft"...so we have a "crap project" and a "crap box"...I think it is hilarious. Our latest project was a sun catcher and I think it turned out pretty cute!

We took a glass pie plate, a couple of cups of water, ice cubes and glass stones (for texture) and food coloring. We froze the design for a few hours and there you have it! It has held up pretty good on our porch outside. The squirrels seem pretty interested in it too!

Reunited and it feels so good…Part IV

This is the final part of “My Story” regarding the events that took place this past summer…to read from the beginning click on the following - Part I, Part II and Part III.

So my first full day at home I had Nate drive us out to my parents house. It was super hot outside and Aidan wanted to go in the pool – I figured I could relax on their couch as easily as my own and I wanted to see my family! My dad and I hung out in the house while Lucas slept and everyone else was outside playing in the pool. It was a good day. My dad and I had some good talks.


One thing weighing on his mind as well as my own was the rift we had in our family with my oldest sister. I really felt compelled to do something about it. My dad encouraged me. I think he knew he didn’t have much longer and really wanted to know that everyone was okay. I’m not going to get into the specifics, but what I will say is that the timing was good – Dad needed to see Kris and the girls and they needed to see him. We didn’t have a lot of time with him after that point, but I know we all made the most of it and he was happy. It has been nothing but a blessing having Kris and her family back in our lives and I couldn’t be happier.

My boys have all these additional people to love them and they LOVE it!

What amazing women my three nieces have turned out to be (not to mention each of them is absolutely beautiful!).

My dad lost his battle with cancer on September 11, 2010. It is still very hard for me to even write about it now. I still miss him every day. He was such a good man and an amazing father. As you can imagine the holidays were filled with all kinds of emotions. I said several times I wish we could have just skipped them all together this year (I think I actually tried by scheduling my final surgery on Dec. 27th). We have gotten through the holidays and birthday parties and family gatherings remembering him, celebrating him and just enjoying each other. It is such a great loss not having him with us but we are hanging onto each other and getting through it.

I just recently had my final surgery. I was filled will all kinds of fear about going under again – honestly, I was terrified. But I was also so ready to get it over with and move on. Anyone who has had surgery may be able to relate to this – when you go into an operating room you almost catch your breath. It is stark white, lots of lights, sterile and so cold. That feeling was still too fresh in my mind and as I about to well up with tears as we entered the operating room, instead, I entered into a team of doctors cheering for me. It turns out several of them had participated in some of my previous surgeries and were excited to be participating in my final surgery. I knew I was in good hands.

My recovery has been going good and I am excited to put this medical saga behind me. As I’ve said before, I really feel as though I have been given a gift. This year I turn 40 (yikes!) and I plan to celebrate. I’m excited to see what the next chapter of this life will be and what God’s plan is for me…because I am convinced now more than ever that He has one!

Thanks for letting me share!

Chef Aidan...

Aidan received an early birthday present in the mail today from Grammy and Popi!

Aidan LOVES to help me cook so this was perfect - he is so proud...

Chef Aidan!

My Story, Part III

This is Part III of My Story – the events that took place this past summer…for the beginning of the story click on the following - Part I and Part II.

I was pretty confused in those first few days. I couldn’t remember much. I had some pretty crazy dreams while I was out and it took a few days for my family to convince me that some of the things I dreamed hadn’t really happened. All I knew was that I wanted to get home to my boys – to hug Aidan and tell him that his mommy was okay and that I loved him…to hold that new baby boy and get to know him. But at that point I couldn’t walk and I had some nerve damage to my arm, so I was in bad shape. They were saying after I left Prentice I was going to have to go to a Rehab Facility for some physical and occupational therapy for three to six weeks. After about 3 days of watching horrible daytime TV I decided I need to spend my time differently.

Dr. Su, the doctor that had delivered Lucas, was checking in on me daily and helping manage my care. She was wonderful – when I was ready she explained to me what had happened. She was so compassionate and kind. I really felt a connection with her – not only was she my doctor looking out for me, but she became a friend as well. I was focused on getting better, but there were days that I was overwhelmed and just sad. She listened and cried with me. When I told her I couldn’t go to a rehab center, that I had to get home to my boys, she organized daily physical and occupational therapy for me. Instead of laying in bed watching daytime TV I was taken to the rehab gym and I had two therapists who kicked my butt in PT and OT and it paid off – I was able to walk out of the hospital and not go to a rehab facility. The nurses from my OB practice came to visit me often and prayed with me and over me several times. There were so many doctors that stopped in my room to see me – they had been involved in many of my surgeries and just wanted to see me and were amazed by my recovery. Some of them cried and prayed with me. It was truly amazing.

I had lots of visits from family and friends and that really kept my spirits up. Nate would bring Aidan to see me and our first few visits were tough – I think he was pretty confused about what was going on. My poor little three year old had a really tough summer. He was scared to see me like that yet he wanted to be with me and for me to come home so badly. Honestly, most of my tears in the hospital were about him. Lucas would come to visit me as well, but I really wasn’t strong enough to hold him so he would just lay next to me in my hospital bed. He was, and still is, the most laid back and happy baby I have ever seen. It was so hard to be away from them and it was my motivation to get home. My mom was with me all the time – even as an adult I still needed my “mommy.” My dad came as often as he could. He called me almost daily. He was so positive and encouraging – I think at that time he knew he wasn’t doing well and really hung on to make sure I was going to be okay.

My good friend Julie came to the hospital to give me a haircut - my hair hadn't been washed in 3 weeks and as you can imagine I was looking pretty cute (not!)...I think it was one of my all time favorite haircuts (she laughs at this)! I usually try to take Aidan to Julie as well for haircuts but Nate just couldn't do it while I was in the hospital (her salon is in the 'burbs by my parents house). So Nate took him for a haircut - when I saw a picture I cried, he practically shaved his head! He looked so much older to me and I just wasn't ready to see him like that. I know why Nate did it, he just couldn't keep up with taking him every few weeks and knew I wouldn't be able to...just one more thing that was out of my control.

(Nathan, his sister Amy, niece Vivienne, Aidan (with new haircut) and Lucas)

On June 29^th I had my last surgery in the hospital – knowing that I was going to be able to go home soon, but have one more surgery about 6 months down the road. I was released from the hospital on July 11^th and as I said before, was so happy to be walking out of the hospital. I was still in quite a bit of pain, but just figured that was normal and would subside in a few days/weeks.

That next weekend we had planned a surprise party in Michigan for Nate’s parents’ anniversary. I knew I couldn’t go, but Nate really needed a break so I encouraged him to go and take Aidan with him. Paula kindly offered to stay with me and help me with Lucas since I really wasn’t ready to care for him on my own. The few days I was at home I felt like I had a fever and I had a lot of pain, but I just figured again, this was normal for all that I had been through and maybe I was pushing myself too much. I had a physical therapist that was coming to the house three days a week and she was making me work really hard.

About 3 hours after Nate left for Michigan that Friday a home nurse stopped by to draw some blood. She checked my temperature and it was 103.5 – back to the hospital for me! I had developed a bad infection. I was so disappointed. I had just gotten done telling Aidan I would not be going back to the hospital, that I would be here when he came home from Grammy and Popi’s house. I hadn’t gotten to spend much time with Lucas and I felt like others knew my baby better than I did. I felt like a terrible mother. I felt like I had failed. Looking back I think I knew something was wrong but I just didn’t want to go back to the hospital. Anyway, after another week stay I was released home and Aidan and I spent some serious bonding time – I think that week had been harder on me than him.

The month that followed was filled with so many different emotions. I was struggling to get better and my dad was deteriorating pretty quickly. We also had a family reunion of sorts…

To continue reading click Part IV